10 Oct Balancing it All: Present Over Perfect
“There is no such thing as work-life balance. It is all life. The balance has to be within you.” – Sadhguru
I joined the circus in 2007 as a second year medical student, starting my masters in public health and pregnant with E. I advanced to acrobalance acts in 2011 after having my second child, Q, at the end of my pediatric intern year. So while I have been a mama for almost a decade (wow!), I am learning how to manage my many roles in life on a daily basis. I also find that most days there really isn’t much balance to it at all. So while I cannot always ensure balance, I can promise myself to be present.
My work is my passion. My family is my heartbeat. Being fully present at each is a gift to the other. Being present as a pediatrician makes me a better mama and vise versa. I try my best to pay attention to what I am doing while I am doing it. While I am far from perfect, the avid multitasker in me tries to suppress the urge to check e-mails and post to Instagram during homework time.
A few tips to help you enjoy your circus acts to the fullest . . .
Recognize the seasons of your life. There are seasons of rest verses toiling, abundance and giving verses a season of receiving and letting others care for you. When I resist the season I am in, I confuse my priorities and end up engaging in less purposeful activities. Depending on your season for this moment, your focus and energy will be different. Fewer, more meaningful activities may be more productive. Prioritize your engagements based on the energy you have to offer. Knowing your current priorities make it easier to say yes (or no!) to that next happy hour invitation.
Be realistic in your expectations for yourself. Set monthly goals and have someone help keep you accountable. I set fitness goals with my girlfriend text chat groups. So while we don’t always reach our goals, I have someone cheering me on when I do make it to the gym 3 times this week. My family also sets individual goals for the month on a whiteboard in our kitchen. Q’s October goal is to tie his shoes independently for the entire month! It’s a fun way for everyone at home to encourage him to keep tying!
Maintain a digital family calendar. Share and sync your family calendar. D and I both have busy schedules, and instead of constantly checking in to find out what the weekend or month looks like, I receive a friendly reminder *ding* from my iPhone. By staying more organized with our routine tasks, it opens up more possibilities for spontaneous activities like midday taco dates or weekend getaways. While we can’t predict all of life’s surprises, being organized on paper or digitally may give structure to the unpredictable times.